Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
