Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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