no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
