I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize