I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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