He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
