i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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