is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
