Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
