Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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