I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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