The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
