mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
