we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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