we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
