You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize