We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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