what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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