Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
