all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
