He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
