He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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