i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
