Taylor Swift is so right about you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
