by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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