There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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