How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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