just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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