i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
