Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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