it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize