Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize