woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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