Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
