After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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