Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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