The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
