Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
