Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
