so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Still dying that you shit outside
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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