I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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