Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
