Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
