Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
