i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just had sex on a roof
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
