I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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