she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, beer. Big fan.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
