I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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