How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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