What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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