whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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