Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
