what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
COCAINE IS GR8
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
