In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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