i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
