tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Im part way to drunk.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
