Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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