Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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