i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
