seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
