i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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