it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
