with your own penis?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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